‘The Christ-less Christmas is, perhaps, the most blatant example of the meaninglessness of words today’
When we hear of the child sexual abuse that is occurring in the football industry what reaction do we have when footie is our favorite sport? On 24/11/2016 former England and Tottenham player Paul Stewart told the BBC (1) that “Hundreds” of children may have been sexually abused by figures within football.”
Mr Stewart, who says he was abused by a coach for four years as a child, said the sport could face allegations on the scale of the Jimmy Savile scandal. Stewart claims ‘”The access to children at sport level is very easy and it is the perfect ground for them to prey.”
What kind of life are abusers condemning people to here? Abuse of a child by any trusted adult leaves it’s mark in more ways than one. As an intrinsic part of the horror of the abuse, the abuser not only assaults the child in a very physical way causing severe trauma in the body, they also ensure that child will not freely trust another adult again.
It is this destruction of trust that is as devastating as the abuse itself, for the child can grow up and spend the rest of their lives closed down to trusting anyone. This is a prison for anyone to live within. Human beings are social creatures, we are built to develop relationships and trust in each other, it’s how families and communities are built. If something happens to prevent that trust building and consequential social connection, we end up living our lives in a self enforced isolation which can result in mental health problems and suicide.
The shocking fact is, child sexual abuse is not uncommon, Research indicates that up to 36% of girls and 29% of boys have been found to having suffered child sexual abuse.(2) These are the children we know about.
The Professional Footballers’ Association (PFA) has said it expected the number of people coming forward who have been sexually abused to rise. Former Football Association chief executive, Mark Palios, told the BBC he was not surprised by the allegations. He said it would be “naive” to suggest abuse has not gone on within the game.” (1)
Is it really naïve to expect children to engage in sport and not be sexually abused?
Since when is trusting adults to act with integrity and honour to be defined as naïve?
What kind of industry is football that that it sets children up for a life of misery and poor mental health?
- Stewart, Paul. 24/11/16 Football sex abuse victims ‘could number hundreds’: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-38093957 Date accessed 24/11/16
- International Centre for Assault prevention: http://www.internationalcap.org/abuse_statistics.html Date accessed 24/11/16
This is a remarkable essay on culture that should be obligatory reading for all human’s. It is a real eye opener for all races and all cultures.
I was born Hong Kong Chinese.
I have never liked being Chinese because it never felt natural, but I have lived most of my life feeling trapped within the picture of what being Chinese meant. I was always looking to run away, to be any nationality, to live in any country but to be where I have incarnated to be.
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A point of inspiration
I noticed a couple interact together when I was travelling recently, what struck me most of all was how delicate and fragile their interactions were.
From the way she touched her hair and adjusted her clothing presented such a strong feeling of of delicacy that it was fragility personified and yet at the same time strong and sound.
There was no limp or failing power within the movements at all and there certainly no room for pathetic looks, manipulation or game playing here, there was simply no need.
Her partner touched her as gently and respectfully as she was treating herself, honouring her with his every move. This respect and honouring didn’t stop there. I noticed that how they spoke to their neighboring travellers and how they were with each other was the same.
There was no difference in the delicacy and strength with which they interacted together than the respectful and loving way they spoke to everyone else.
There was none of the usual shift in intimacy when we stop talking to our loved one to the way we relate to the world, as all too often we reserve intimacy for our families or loved ones only and so treat them one way and everyone else gets a whole different side to us. Not here.
My experience of being fragile has not always been great. I thought as I grew up that trusting others was not always a wise thing to do, as I got hurt in the process.
My hurt’s then ordered and arranged how I related to people.
I would shut down and go into protection when ever I was with people, my shoulders would hunch forward and I became hard in my body to protect myself. Even when it seemed that I didn’t have anything to defend myself from, I was so used to being in protection, it became a way of life.
I would not have known how it was to be fragile from a tree trunk.
I knew everything that fragility was not, but not what is is.
When I first encountered fragility
It was only when I met a man called Serge Benhayon, from Universal Medicine that I realised just how shut down and protected I was. This man, presenter and healer, was so open and undefended that I could see for the first time in my life that protection is not all it was cut out to be.
I started to feel there was more to life than sitting in my own hurt.
Gradually, through attending workshops and presentations and having sessions with Serge and the Universal Medicine practitioners, I began to develop a relationship with myself and the stillness and Divinity that lives within me and each and every one of us.
Understanding that men and women are equally sensitive, equally fragile and delicate, has changed how I relate, not just to myself, but to everyone I meet. I no longer see men as hard and tough, yes they may come across like that sometimes, but I can also feel the fragility and sensitivity within the toughness. Neither do I see myself as being hard and shut down, but open to learning about living from a sense of honouring and fragility.
Men and women
The delicacy of women is often well hidden, just as I buried my own sense of this, so do far too many men and women. How we relate to each other is highlighted by the fact that two women die from domestic abuse every week in the UK alone and hundreds of thousand of families and children live with domestic abuse as a daily reality.
Where ever we go we meet abuse as a reality, it has become normal. Fragility, delicateness, along with respect and honouring each other’s sensitivity is a rare thing to see. Yet it is ours to choose.
An inspiration for walking in the world
We can choose to be inspired by how others we are choosing a different path are leading the way with a different quality of life. There is another way to live, I have discovered this for myself, living from hurts never supported me, I am giving it up as a bad job.
Give me the intimacy of fragility any day.
This blog was inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and two young people who have been attending Universal Medicine presentations and workshops. Serge Benhayon is a remarkable man who is showing the world another way of living.
I have known Caroline Raphael for ten years – she changed my life. I was a deeply hurt and angry woman due to the abuse I experienced in my life, the anger dominated my life. I was angry about everyone God and the Universe for not rescuing me from abuse as a child. This anger affected my personal life, my relationships and my working life. In fact there was no area of my life that wasn’t affected.
I had been attending Universal Medicine workshops and healing courses, but anger was the one thing I would not let go of. Then I met Caroline Raphael. I shared with her that this one situation felt like it was taking over my life. There was a guy who I felt really angry at, I had a great story as to why I was justified in my anger, it was the best reason ever. Caroline asked me a question:
“Could it be that you are not angry at this man at all, but are really angry at your own choices and are using him as a scapegoat to blame for not making different choices in your life?”
It felt like a bomb had gone off in my body – I was stopped in my tracks. I had lived with anger all my life and was sick of how it controlled me and here was someone suggesting that I am angry at myself not at anyone else at all, but angry at me and me alone
“And I could feel just how much this was the truth.”
I was absolutely ready to hear the truth and ready to take responsibility for bringing healing to this anger.
I asked Caroline Raphael how I would deal with anger if it came up again. Caroline suggested that I see it as a shadow, which would come and visit for a while because I had relied upon anger for so long to get by. So when it came she suggested I see it as an illusion and unreal. Whenever I had these feeling come up, to say ‘you are not real, I am not choosing you’. After a while, these shadows stopped coming and I was clear of any remnants of anger.
Caroline Raphael supported me to see the truth and to step into self responsibility which improved my personal and work relationships and made family life a fun and light-hearted experience instead of being dominated by anger. This one meeting changed my life.
Thank you Caroline Raphael from the depths of my heart.
Esther Rockett has been making false accusations about Universal Medicine across a huge range of topics with zero qualifications, experience or actual information and facts. Yes, Esther Rockett, se…
A shocking account of what it’s like to grow up in a cult
by Bianca Barban, Registered Nurse, Melbourne, Australia
I find it absolutely ridiculous that sections of the media are calling Universal Medicine a cult and Serge Benhayon a cult leader – how far away are they from the reality of who Serge is, and how Universal Medicine contributes to society?
When I was nine years old my family joined a cult my uncle started. My uncle (the cult leader) was a well known and respected medical doctor practising in Melbourne who decided his time would be better spent inciting fear, intimidation and paranoia amongst a group of people who were lost and searching for an escape from life. When I reflect on this time it brings up such feelings of paralysing fear, debilitating confusion and total lack of self – this is true abuse. I remember my uncle used to say he was higher up than Jesus.
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